Your New Superpower: Habit Awareness
One of the anchors of my Coaching practice are “habits”. As a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) one of my primary responsibilities is to help my Clients become more aware of their existing habits and consciously create (or re-program) new ones that support their desired goals.
Habits by definition are conditioned tendencies which ultimately become repeatable, automatic and even unconscious - all of which have unique advantages and disadvantages depending on the circumstance. Most people associate habits with a physical action or activity (e.g. waking up early to workout, creating a weekly to-do list on Monday morning, putting on their pants left or right leg first, etc.); however, there’s actually different types of habits that develop over the course of life - be it mental or thought-based habits, emotional or feeling-based habits as well as somatic or physical sensation-based habits. And because each type of habit is playing a critical role in either supporting or detracting from helping you achieve your goals, it is super important to start becoming aware of them.
Now we’ve all been developing habits since the day we were born and our habits are influenced by the likes of our families upbringings, communities, institutions, social-norms and environments. As a result, everyone has their own unique set of habits which shape how we interact with the world - from how we think about a circumstance to the emotions we experience to how we physically hold our posture to the actions we take or don’t take. Bottom line is that our habits truly influence how we live our life and the results we achieve.
Let’s put the influence that habits can have into perspective with a few not so positive examples followed by a few positive ones:
If you have a tendency to think you can’t do it - be it signing up for race you’ve had your eyes on or applying for the job that was referred your way - then you likely won’t do it.
If you're routinely shying away from asking for help on a big project at work or even keeping up with life at home, even when you have a powerful network of individuals to support you, it is like you’ll constantly be feeling overwhelmed, burned out and resentful towards making progress.
If you’re default “free-time“ activity has become being situationally distracted such as endlessly scrolling on your phone, you’re likely missing the opportunity to focus and take action on what you truly want to achieve and is most important to you.
If you’re continuously staying curious and asking specific questions during conversations with your partner, friends or colleagues, you are likely having more robust and meaningful dialogue which is leading to deeper communication and trust in your relationship.
If you’re consciously taking full-body breaths where your belly protrudes out away from your spine as you inhale and then collapses in as you exhale, then you’ll likely be feeling more relaxed in your body which can lead to more confidence and courage when taking action.
Every habit we embody plays a part in how we show up and who we are, which is why bringing awareness to them is routinely (dare I say, a habit?) the first step in my coaching practice. As of late, I’ve even been taking a microscopic view into my own habits as part of of a coaching program I’ve enrolled in (yes, even Coaches receiving coaching too) called “The Power of Embodied Transformation”. Over the past several months I’ve learned that habit awareness really comes down to three fundamental requirements: Presence, Grace and Intention.
Because many of our habits are ingrained in our daily lives, we don’t even realize they are there, which is why slowing down and cultivating Presence becomes such an important requirement towards habit awareness. Presence enables us to quiet the mind and get into our bodies so we can begin to see, hear and feel our unconscious habits. Presence is a practice that ultimately takes time to cultivate given it is a journey of self-discovery and my three favorite Presence exercises are meditation, 4-box breathing and journaling. If you are looking to fast track habit awareness through Presence, asking for help from a trained Professional (like a Coach) or getting feedback from a trusted friend/mentor is a great way to get started.
Once we've cultivated awareness of our habits via Presence, the next requirement is honoring our habits with Grace. I mentioned it above, but it’s worth repeating, our habits can have both advantages and disadvantages depending on the circumstance. When habits become automatic, clearly that creates efficiency which in turn allows us to “get shit done fast”. However, when we get so set in our ways, like REALLY set in our ways, that can lead to tunnel vision and complacency which can hold us back from experiencing growth and reaching our full potential. This is why Grace becomes so important. With Grace, we need to recognize that our habits have a purpose but are also meant to evolve, just as we evolve our own identity and passions. As uncomfortable as it may be, we have to be open and own the formation of new habits that enable us to reach new goals and outcomes we desire. Trust me when I say that we all go through this awkward stage of discomfort when trying something new for the first time (heck, we’re human after all). I promise you though, Presence coupled with Grace (and of course a side of repetition, time and accountability) your new habits will become embodied faster than you imagined.
The third and final requirement that’s essential for habit awareness is Intention. In today’s world we want to immediately fast-forward to the end result or outcome. As a result, we miss out on the deep connection we develop when do something with Intention. While grounding yourself to the result or outcome will in fact force you to create new habits, it’s likely those habits won’t have the “stickiness” factor after the result or outcome has been achieved. Why? Because you bypassed the Intention behind it all. Prior to engaging in a new habit it’s important to spend time on WHY you are engaging with it to begin with. It’s important to get specific with your why. To create a connection with it. To write it down and keep it top of mind each day. By doing so you are creating a commitment to yourself, and on the days where your new habit feels maybe a little hard (or easy), you can always come back to it as a reminder of the bigger purpose behind your actions.
Lastly, if you want to expand your knowledge of habits, learn about the science behind them and get exposed to different techniques that will help you create even more “stickiness”, I highly recommend reading “Atomic Habits” by James Clear and “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg.
Okay, so here we are already half-way through the year, which means it's a great time to reflect back on those personal or professional goals you wrote in late December or early January. As you do, ask yourself, with your new superpower of habit awareness in mind:
What progress have you made towards achieving them and have you created a habit of celebrating every single step towards doing so thus far?
What habits can you think of that have been advantageous towards making progress?
What habits can you think of that have been disadvantageous and are blocking your ability to make progress? How can you honor them and release what no longer serves you?
Given a lot can change in six months, have any of your goals changed or evolved and why?
Whether your goals have remained in tact or changed, what new habits do you want to develop and practice to propel you forward?
In addition to your own resourcefulness, who in your network and / or what resources can support you in your journey?
Developing habit awareness is a powerful journey of self-discovery; however, as I mentioned above, an easy way to accelerate your progress is to share your habits with a trusted friend, family member, colleague or even me by filling out the form below. There is so much power and sense of ownership in sharing the commitment you are making beyond yourself. Not only will it inspire and empower you to move forward, but I guarantee it will likely do the same for the person receiving your message. ❤️